Blue Flower

Belief in something shows a lack of faith in something for when you know, you trust without need of belief and when you trust that trust, you experience the results of true faith.

Faith is such a misunderstood “idea”. I have tried to say that Faith has nothing to do with Belief for if you have to choose to believe you lack faith but this truth has laid flat with most. So, I will demonstrate with an example from my own life instead.

Shortly after my daughter was born, we moved to the infamous “Leverette Street Apartments”. This was a very unstable time in my life where I seemed to be afloat on the winds of fate, trying to make ends meet but not very well. After a while, I noticed that though I was rarely the one paying my rent, the rent was being payed by others who thought they owed it to me for, … who knows, I still don’t understand it but it only started happening after I stopped asking for money. However, I noticed that as I worked my life to make it work, my life made a way to work for me to fill the gap. This was the real beginning of my gratitude. Every grocery shopping was a reason to be grateful; every rent paid was a reason to be grateful; every day working employed was a reason to be grateful and I began to be grateful despite I was still always also worrying.

Well, after awhile I began to trust that these things would happen if I just went out there and did what I could. I wish to make clear that when I say trust I do not mean belief for my beliefs screamed at me when I began to notice this; my ego and worry warned me not to go there and so forth. This is also when I began to notice that “I am not myself.” Myself was worrying and calculating and “not believing “ that it would continue to work out somehow, which is a belief, lol. So if that was myself than I must not be that because here I was trusting. That is when I really first begin to understand my conversation with God, at age fifteen, about “true freedom”.

The details of that conversation about “true freedom” are for another post but after the truth of freedom was revealed to me, I had an opportunity to just trust and be awake then. I tried, oh how I tried but I was not able to overcome belief and just trust. But in that most difficult and awkward time in my life, I was finally able to begin to trust. Then, while I was in boot camp in the Navy, I began to trust trust itself and now I flow in that trust of trust. Trusting this trust itself is true faith and it all begins with gratitude.

The path to True Faith is the most frightening journey most would ever make but it is one of the most rewarding paths I ever gambled on.